Last day of the holidays

The picture is from this morning's run; the bit that took me along the high street. It felt insanely early, but it was 8am. I am not sure how I am going to cope with getting ip for work tomorrow...



This break has gone awfully fast... I just logged onto the college system to see how many of the students had accessed the work we set them over the break - seems like just two of them have! Two! Out of more than 100! Aaargh! Though I shouldn't judge tmem too harshly I suppose - I've not done much work this break myself. I marked some tests early on New Year's Eve, and I am preparing lessons this afternoon, but that's all. Perhaps the students are all planning to do all their work this evening. Well, I can hope...


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Christmas is coming!

I love all the Christmas lights. The trees along the road opposite the college are all white and sparkly, as are the fir trees next to the park. It makes leaving college in the dark (the sun sets ridiculously early at the moment; it's pitch dark before I've even finished teaching every afternoon) a pleasure instead of a chore.

The other nice thing about the insanely short days is that you can get up very late and still be in time for the sunrise. On Saturday we went for an early morning run - left home at 6.45 - and were able to run by moonlight. Beautiful, specially running round the duck pond in the park. It was a good run - except that it clouded over and started to pour with rain when we were about half a k from home. Nothing quite like slodging through a muddy field in the pouring rain, and having your trainer literally get stuck in the mud! I'm very grateful for hot showers.

Work is going well at the moment; I am feeling organised and (touch wood) on top of things. I have really nice students in all my classes this year, which helps too! And I'm starting to look forward to Christmas. I think all the Christmas shopping is done. I did mine online which was completely painless. Soph needed me to take her shopping, though, so we went to creepy-Crawley on Saturday morning. She is a very thoughtful gift buyer - I was impressed by the things she's chosen. And we had a fun girly morning together.


Christmas itself should be good. We're going to this cottage on the Cornish coast with my parents - I can't wait for long windy walks along the cliff tops! And then warm nights in front of the fire, with the kids, and board games, and books, and hot chocolate.... Only 11 more days! And only 8 of those are work days!

Not everyone seems to be feeling the festive spirit, though - poor Emily routinely has to deal with angry customers on the evenings when she works at the local Chinese take-away. People get annoyed when the wait times are long - fair enough, but why take it out on the two teenage girls behind the counter? One of the teachers from her old high school was in there on Friday night; Millie says this woman got really angry when she had to wait for her order, and then, as they were leaving, her boyfriend grabbed a prawn cracker from the bowl on the counter, threw it on the ground, and snarled "I'll be back"! Seriously, what kind of an idiot behaves like that? Emily and Claire (the other student who works there) both thought it was funny; it sounds a bit upsetting to me, though. You'd think the teacher would want to set a good example to former students - presumably she didn't recognise Emily ...

Pleasantly tired

Just got back from a little run with Sophie.

It was lovely - we went through the park, up to the ridge of the hill (Sophie says she feels like a rabbit when we go along that bit, tired from all the hopping), back down through the woods, round the duckpond, past the allotments, through the fields, past the horses and along the footpath back home.

Reminds me of the Bears In the Night book I loved so much as a five year old.

It's not yet five, but the sun set twenty minutes ago, which makes me feel that it's time to start cooking, even though none of us is hungry yet. I think I am programmed to start thinking about dinner as the sun sets. This is why I want to start cooking before 3.30 in winter (when I'm still at work) and can't bear to begin till 9.30 or 10 at the height of summer.

Tomorrow my parents arrive; they'll be spending two nights with us. I spent today marking and doing lesson prep; still got quite a bit to do before they arrive... and I suppose I should probably do a spot of cleaning as well... I need more hours in each day. How I wish I could give up sleep... If I did, that would make two of us, as poor Bobby is not sleeping well at the moment. He's very stressed about this weekend's implementation, so he struggles to fall asleep, and is awake by 4 every morning. His curse (and blessing) is that he really cares about what he does, to the extent that it affects his health at times. I hate it when he's so stressed while I'm on holiday - knowing that he's miserable makes it impossible for me to feel completely happy.

Need a better plan...

Well, so much for that.

Bobby and I had planned to make sure that Sundays were free from college work and housework, so that we had a whole day to relax as a family. Didn't manage it this week, though... I worked pretty solidly today - 9.30 till 11.30 this morning, and then again from 1pm till 7. This on top of working yesterday afternoon from 1pm till 11pm. Ridiculous. That, plus the usual weekly chores, meant that there wasn't much time for relaxation this weekend.

It wasn't entirely gloom and doom - there was some enjoyment in the weekend, in amongst all the work.

Sophie had a sleepover here on Friday. Three little girls, lots of giggling.
I took Emily and Sophie shopping - undies and shoes.
Bobby and I went for a really nice run early this morning.
And the five of us went out to dinner tonight, at our usual Indian restaurant.

But I feel exhausted, rather than refreshed. Working this much on the weekend is not really do-able long-term. I am going to have to get through all my prep during the work week, otherwise I'm going to burn myself out.

And in any case, I won't be able to work much next weekend - it's the weekend that we take Steve up to uni! First chick to fly the nest... Quite a milestone.

Quiet

It's grey and rainy and dreary right now. The house is quiet - the only thing I can hear is the rain on the windows. The girls are out (Emily's working, and Sophie's at a sleepover) and Bobby and Stephen are all the way downstairs. The weather forecast says we should get some sun tomorrow, and I hope we do; the combination of wet and chilliness, along with not being able to exercise (sore hip/back/butt) is starting to get me down. I caved in and went to the doctor this morning; she has given me some stronger anti-inflammatory painkillers, and I think they are helping. I am so frustrated at not being able to run - it's been two weeks now, and it really irks me to think how much fitness I must be losing with every sedentary day that passes. The doctor said it'll probably be another two or three weeks before I can run again. I'm hoping it'll be sooner, though.

I think part of the reason I feel so blah tonight is that, in addition to missing out on exercise-induced endorphins, the past few days have been so busy and so much fun that now, in the aftermath, I have the what-now blues.

Wednesday was Sophie's roller-coaster riding birthday celebration, Thursday and Friday I spent with my parents in Beccles, but today has been mainly laundry and vacuuming and rain.

Sophie's birthday worked out really well. We dithered about whether or not to go to Thorpe Park - it's quite expensive, and the weather forecast wasn't good. So the thought of paying a lot of money for a rained-out day worried us. But we couldn't think of anything else that would be as fun, so we decided to go for it. And it didn't rain at all! We got there early enough that we were able to go on the best rides without queueing at all - and Sophie was pleased to be enough over the height requirements that the people with the measuring sticks didn't even bother to approach her. In the evening, at Sophie's request, we played Risk, and Charades, and then watched a DVD.

Here she is eating her birthday breakfast (crepes with lemon and sugar, and chocolate milk)



This was the first ride we went on - quite an adrenaline rush!



And here are the girls on the last ride of the day. We saved the wet ones till the end...




So, all in all, Sophie had a good birthday. And then the girls and I left for Beccles first thing the next morning. (Bobby had to work, and poor Stephen is jobhunting.) When we got there, my folks had put balloons up, and my mom had baked birthday cupcakes for Soph. We were thoroughly spoiled all the time we were there - they'd gone to all sorts of trouble for us. It was very touching... Made me happy, and also sad. I still get panicky sometimes; it's been five years since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and she is so well at the moment, but I can't help worrying that it will come back. I know that this worry is pointless, and normally I keep it at bay, but it's really bothering me right now. I need to deal with the anxiety - rationally I know that it's not serving any use, and that allowing it in only spoils what we have now - but it's hard to deal with...

Ugh.

One more picture, just because - it's a cabbage white butterfly, sitting on a cabbage at the Beccles market. There were dozens of butterflies fluttering around the veggies - beautiful - and surprisingly hard to photograph! Guess I will never work for National Geographic.

Ow

In retrospect, believing that the slight twinge in my hip which I felt when I started running this morning would get stretched out and disappear during the course of my run was a mistake.

I ran - slowly - for maybe a mile, maybe slightly less. And then the pain increased to the point where I had to stop and walk home.

The one bright point in the outing was that the field where I finally gave up and realised that I would have to stop running was covered in white butterflies ... truly beautiful.

When I got home, I took some ibuprofen, and had a go at weeding the vegetable patch. I suspect that the weeding may have been mistake number two.

Because when I tried to walk upstairs afterwards, I couldn't. The pain is in my right hip/bum and, though it feels fine as long as I don't put any weight on that side of my body, it's extremely painful as soon as I do. This is going to make tonight awkward, because Bobby and I are supposed to be taking the train to Croydon and meeting people at a restaurant to say goodbye to one of his colleagues who's going back to India. I really want to go, but I am really not sure I can walk to the station. I've taken more ibuprofen and am hoping that it will kick in shortly...

So annoying!

Hand-in Day

Today was official hand-in day: all assignments and my portfolio are now in for marking. It felt odd walking out of the library (where we handed them in) and seeing our folders sitting in a heap on someone's desk, waiting for some poor individual to go through all those thousands and thousands of words. I'm glad that individual is not me!

I'm also glad that I didn't have any work to do this past weekend, because the weather was amazing.

 

I took this picture on Sunday morning's run. It was only about 6.30 and already the sun had been up for almost two hours. Gorgeous... We went for a cycle ride in the evening, to a lake we last visited in winter. On that ride, the whole world looked grey; it was an icy, foggy morning, and we couldn't even see across the lake. There was not a glimpse of colour anywhere - just grey and black and white. Yesterday, though, the sky and the water were deep blue, the grass was bright green, there were yellow buttercups and white daisies ... it's like living in a different country, now that it's summer.

Time

There's just not enough hours in the day to do even a fraction of the things I need to, let alone the things I want to.

And with Sunday's switch to summer time, I've lost yet another hour! I know I'll love the long summer evenings, but today I just feel tired and even more rushed than usual.

I have, however, completed the couch to 5k program, and am now at the run 5k stage. I plan to carry on running three mornings a week. I'm really happy I've made it this far; hoping I can stick with the running long enough that it becomes an ingrained habit.

Better go. I have a lesson to prepare for tomorrow. I could teach okay with what I've got, but the feeling when you organise a really fabulous lesson is amazing - worth working late for. Yawn....

Different worlds

Slightly odd moment this morning... I was running through a damp green English field early this morning, watching the rabbits hop across the path, when a Juluka song came up on my iPod. It was quite jarring - I couldn't have been in a less African environment if I'd tried. It made me think about where - if anywhere - I belong these days...



Eventually I decided that I belong wherever Bobby and the children are. And for now, that's right here.

This American Life

Mondays are my favourite walk-to-work day, because that's the day I listen to the This American Life podcast. Today's episode was intense. It was a story about how things can go wrong in families, told by a mother whose daughters rebelled against her, ran away from home, started using heroin... Hearing the pain in their voices - mother and daughters - made me realise just how easily things can go wrong in ordinary families; how seemingly simple decisions can trigger reactions that spiral out of control.

The episode seemed particularly poignant, since yesterday was Mother's Day here. I was thorougly spoiled - and the gifts were all the sweeter as I hadn't realised that the children were planning anything.

So the weekend was lovely. Blue skies and gold daffodils everywhere, and good family memories. But work today was rather exhausting, to the extent that I'd happily go to bed right now if I didn't have marking to do and - if I can keep my eyes open long enough - the episode of the Ladies Detective Agency that I missed last night to watch. I plan to get up early tomorrow morning and go for my run, though, tired or not. I started the last week of the couch to 5k program on Sunday; I'm now up to running for 30 minutes. And the weird part is, I actually enjoy it! Hope it lasts!

Got it!

I got the job.

I'm so relieved.

And happy.

The interview was quite tough - two sessions, back to back, each with two interviewers who'd been told to ask challenging questions so as to be able to differentiate between the candidates. There was one question that caught me on the back foot but most of them were manageable, and some of them I aced.

Waiting to hear the verdict was horrible. I thought I'd done well, but obviously one never knows for sure. The relief when I finally found out was immense.

We went out to dinner tonight, to celebrate. It was a very nice family evening; the children have become such interesting young people.

I think I will sleep well tonight. These past couple of weeks I've been so tense that I've barely managed 3 or 4 hours a night.

I plan to get up early though, and go for a run. I'm up to 28 minutes now; not bad, considering I started at intervals of 90 seconds!

Lazy afternoon

I have spent this afternoon lying on the bed, enjoying the afternoon sun coming through the loft windows, and reading Tea Time for the Traditionally Built. It has been extremely pleasant to spend a whole afternoon doing nothing much. I think the last time I enjoyed this particular luxury must have been in the summer.

I did get up early this morning though - early enough that the ducks and swans were all still asleep when I ran around the pond - and I tackled the last run of week 6 of the couch to 5k program. (That's the day that requires you to run for 25 minutes without stopping.) And I did it! Slowly, mind you ... but still, there's absolutely no way I could have done that six weeks ago. So I'm pleased about that, and looking forward to next week's runs.

After breakfast I had to go shopping for a new interview outfit. On the plus side, I did eventually manage to find an outfit I liked. I couldn't have done it without the girls - they were a great source of moral support and helpful advice during the choosing process. I'm so glad I have daughters as well as a son. On the minus side, the shopping took up the whole morning. Ugh. Oh the stress... I have an interview, not this Tuesday but the next one, and I would very much like to get the job. I feel anxious and butterfly-y and sweaty palmed just thinking about it...

Anyway, so this afternoon has been a much-needed antidote to all the work stress.

Tomorrow's going to have to be a work-day, I think; I have masses of prep to do...

Weekend!

The other two people scheduled to go to India with Bobby left this morning. I'm can't quite express just how happy I am that he's not on that plane! Waking up with him this morning felt so sweet, knowing that we'd be able to go to sleep tonight together as well.

I got up early this morning and did my final Week Five run in the Couch to 5k program. Today was the two mile/twenty minute run, and I did it! So I'm pretty happy about that. A friend is trying to convince me to run a 5k race with her in a couple of months. I'm a bit daunted, as she is a "real" runner, but I think I might end up going for it! I was back home just after six, and Bobs and I left again at 7.15 for a bike ride. We went just over 25km - longer than I'd really bargained on - but it was fabulous being out and about so early. We went south from our house, towards Gatwick. I love the way that there is so much green space mixed in with densely populated, urban areas.




And the farms are working farms for the most part...




I still tend to think of farms in South African terms, where they are in the middle of nowhere, not 5 minutes from the shops and twenty miles from central London!

You may have noticed that I measured my run in miles and Bobby measured our bike ride in kilometres. This is because Bobby stubbornly refuses to succumb to the imperial system whereas I have given in to it - when in Rome, and all that... They really do have an odd relationship with the metric system here, though. We pay per litre for diesel for our car, for instance, but our fuel consumption is measured in miles per gallon!

I baked scones for breakfast, and after that we cleaned the house as a family. (Oh how the children thanked us for that!. At lunchtime I took Sophie and a friend over to a third friend's house (they're taking the bus to Epsom to see that silly-looking Shopaholic movie), and since then I've been sitting at the kitchen table motoring through a bunch of work stuff that I'd been putting off. I actually think that I may have got through it all by the end of tomorrow! If that happens, it'll be a first... If only my energy levels could always be this good...

A friend's coming to dinner tonight so I have a good excuse to abandon my preparation for now, though! And, Bobby's cooking, so it's all good!

Pain and pleasure

On Tuesday afternoon Bobs and I went to the doctor's to get our travel vaccinations. Or immunisations. I never know which is which, or even if there actually is a difference. We are hoping that I'll be able to go out to India for a week or so over Easter, while Bobby's there ... It'll make the eight weeks apart distinctly more bearable. The actual shots were fairly painless, but my arms really ached that evening, and the next day. We got polio, diphtheria, hepatitis A, typhoid and tetanus. Three in one arm and two in the other. Ouch.

But that evening we got dressed up...





and went on our date night. The film was pretty slow-moving, but it had some thought-provoking moments, and made for good discussion afterwards. And the dinner (Nepalese food) was delicious. Except for the pudding. Normally, neither of us are terribly big pudding eaters, but that night we both felt like something sweet, so we ordered something called, appropriately enough, "Holy Sweet". Well. What we got was a little teeny pile of warm, grated carrot, drizzled with honey, with a few sultanas buried in it and a pistachio nut on top. Tasted like the sort of thing you might concoct late at night in your own kitchen if you were desperate for a pudding and had to make one from what you had available in the fridge.

Anyhow, pudding aside, it was a lovely evening.

Wednesday morning I finished the damn visa application - what a performance! It took me four goes at their stupid online form (their system kept bumping me out and making me start over) before I got it done. Anyway, I have paid the visa fee, and mailed off my passport and we'll see what happens. The only potential hitch is the fact that my dad was born in Pakistan, so they may either deny my visa, or require an interview. We'll have to wait and see.

My parents arrived here on Wednesday afternoon, and yesterday we went to the Sisley exhibition at the National Gallery. So it was another fun day - after we'd been to the gallery, we ate lunch out (one minor upside to the credit crunch - one can now find really good lunch deals in London - £5.95 for Thai green curry, rice, and a glass of wine or a soft drink...),




...then walked up Charing Cross Road to browse the bookstores (Emily bought The Declaration, which she's already finished, and I bought The White Tiger, which I started last night and am enjoying very much - before we took the train home to a nice crockpotted casserole.

My parents left this morning, so today I've been marking and planning lessons at the kitchen table. With Roly's help.




He just can't resist an open textbook. Wish I felt the same!

Oh, and I almost forgot - I finished week 4 of the couch to 5k program tomorrow! And, so far so good - to my surprise I'm really enjoying it! Am dubious about next week though - on Friday I'm due to run for two miles without stopping ... not sure if I'll manage!

Best. Day. Ever!

This weekend wasn't really up to much.




A sea of lesson preparation, marking, and housework, with the odd pleasant family interlude. Rather exhausting, and not particularly memorable,

This morning, though, I got up early to start week 2 of the couch to 5k program, and stepped out of the front door into a snowy wonderland. I loved the experience; running through the dark, with the snow sparkling, felt magical.





I had been worried I'd be miserably cold while running, but I actually got quite hot. When I got home I climbed into bed with Bobs for a moment before showering, only to have him scream like a girl and scrunch himself into an outraged duvet cocoon like a deranged caterpillar. Apparently I was colder than I'd thought.

We ate breakfast watching the snow fall outside, wishing that the schools would close, but not seriously thinking that they would, since they've not closed for snow as far back as anyone can remember. Much happiness ensued when Ems got a text from a friend to say that there was no school for her or Soph. And even more when my boss texted me to say - no college today! Whoooo! The only dampener on the delirious happiness around the breakfast table was the fact that poor Bobs, private sector employee, had to go in to work as usual, treacherous roads or no. Apparently this is the most snow that's fallen here for twenty years. Not very much by the standards of people who have serious winters, but enough to shut down all London buses and trains - and hence enough to prevent our students from getting to college.

Poor Bobs set out, and the girls and I went for a snowy walk though through the park.





The park was filled with happy tobagganing families (and a few not so happy ones - "mummmmmyyyy I'm cold ... I want to go hooooommmme....)





Just like a Christmas card....





Ems met up with some of her friends at the park, so Soph and I went to the cafe there (Urban Kitchen) for a hot chocolate. Well, that was the plan. When I asked for two hot chocolates, the girl behind the counter looked confused and said "Hot chocolate? Oh, we're not doing that today." Mmmm, yes, I can see that today - a once-in-a-blue-moon snow day, when every school child is out frolicking in the park - you'd not bother to stock hot chocolate. Sheesh, even if your hot chocolate machine is broken, walk to the high street and buy some instant hot chocolate and some minimarshmallows from Morrisons, mix it up and sell it on for 200% profit! Every parent in the park will buy some! Seriously, English businesses often seem a bit lacking in entrepreneurial spirit.

Snowball fight at home...





And Bobs came home from work early enough that we could go on a bike ride (too slippy to be pleasant) and a long walk though the woods...




... and across the fields.




Soup and hot bread for supper - and the cherry on top? No school tomorrow either! Life just doesn't get better than this!

I should be marking...

...but I just can't. I'm exhausted and I truly can't face it. I know I should, since yet more marking will be rolling in tomorrow, but seriously, I can't.

Three members of the department have been off sick this week which has meant that those of us still standing have had to do cover lessons for them. Very tiring, and of course the extra teaching has meant that I'm behind with my marking and preparation. (This is going to be one of those weekends where I work pretty much non-stop, I fear.) Plus I had my PGCE contact session last night after work - 45 minutes to get there, 3 hours there, and 45 minutes home again - which always leaves me shattered the next day.

On an unrelated note, Emily had her checkup with the endocrinologist today. I was sad not to be there, but we thought it best that Bobs take her as I fear that the only other healthy member of my department would have burst into tears if she'd been told that we'd need cover for my classes as well!

Amazingly, at 16, Ems is now of average height, at 165cm (or just under 5'5"). She's still quite slender (her weight's at the 5th centile and her height's at the 25th) but her upward growth is slowing and her weight gain is increasing, so it's all good. Her endocrinologist said that at this point, it's up to her whether she wants to stay on the growth hormone. If she does, she will probably get another inch or two. If she stops, this will be it. Emily says she thinks she may as well continue; the shots aren't a big deal to her and she'd like another inch. When she does stop (perhaps in a year's time?) the endo says she'll need to have another stim test after three months, to see if she'll need growth hormone as an adult. (Some people don't make enough GH on their own to maintain a healthy heart and other muscles). I still feel grateful every day that we live in a country with socialised health care. I know the NHS is not perfect, but so far it's been pretty damn good to us. Emily's medicine costs about £630 (or roughly $900, or R9000) a WEEK. But we get it free. I'd rather pay high taxes and have everyone benefit from good healthcare and good education than take the short-term benefit of the lower tax-rate.

It's very quiet here right now. The girls have just gone to bed, Stephen's all the way downstairs, and Bobby's out tonight, at an Indian restaurant in Croydon, saying goodbye to one of his team members who's going back to India. Though it's not all that much of a goodbye, really, as Bobby'll be seeing him in about a month... Best I don't dwell on that thought, though. Too depressing.

In an attempt to keep as many endorphins as possible flowing, I'm going to get up early and do my third walking/running session at six tomorrow morning; I'm quite looking forward to it, actually! I must admit that I have my doubts as to whether I'll manage when the program switches to longer running intervals, but, like I said before, I'll give it a shot!

Couch to 5K

I went for a run at six this morning. Well, when I say run, more of a walk with joggy interludes, really. But even so, I'm impressed with myself. I've been toying with the idea of trying the couch to 5k program for a while now, and this morning I finally took the plunge. Em very kindly lent me her ipod, complete with a podcast that goes with the program (good running music, plus a voice that tells you when to run and when to walk), and I found it all surprisingly enjoyable. And the virtuous feeling afterwards was also good. It seems like the first couple of weeks of the program will be pretty easy. I am not sure I'll manage to keep it up when it gets more challenging, mind you ... Though I do intend to give it a good shot.