Good lord.

There's an education insert in today's edition of the local paper - essentially, all the local independent schools seem to have paid to have adverts thinly disguised as news published. Here's an excerpt from the section headed "Day or Boarding?".

Kevin Cheney (could he be related?), the Headmaster at Millfield Preparatory School, Somerset, enthuses (the paper's choice of word, could they be mocking him? I hope so.):

Boarding has changed so radically in the last 40 years that it should almost be the first choice for the overworked, over pressurised and over stressed couple. Suddenly with the child in boarding school there is no school run, no rush to activities, no pick-up needed, no latch-key child, no rush to work, less pressure and stress which will allow for a much better relationship with your partner,your boss, your colleagues and, most importantly, with your children.

Um, yes, less stress - because you just GOT RID OF YOUR INCONVENIENT CHILD ENTIRELY! I'll admit that this may make for a better relationship with your boss, but with your children? You won't be seeing enough of them to have ANY kind of relationship with them!

Kev goes on to say :

For the child, friends on tap all the time, no journey to school, activities on site, more sleep, less stress, less car fumes (car fumes? come on, give me a break, Kev. This is really dredging the bottom of the barrel) and a better relationship with parents. (Well, maybe, if you hated them so much that you can't bear spending any time with them ...)

Kev's final comments :

Most importantly though the child is looked after by teachers, professionals as parents and as Houseparents trained to care for and look after your children 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Yes, I'm sure some minimum wage houseparent just in it for the free board and lodging is going to do a stellar job of raising my children.

I have a hard enough time sending my children to day school; I truly cannot imagine sending them to boarding school. And I have to wonder about parents who do. Seriously, do they not love their children? I absolutely cannot understand how they can bear to send their children off to live with strangers. I read the boarding FAQ for Millfield Prep, and this bit actually made me cry :

Q What happens on my birthday, can I have cake?
A Most certainly. You or your parents (as a surprise) can ask your houseparents to order one for you, or your parents are welcome to bring in one for you.