I'm feeling snappy and frayed and irritable. Lots of petty guest-related annoyances. I want to be the kind of person who rises above the small stuff and sees the big picture. I want to be calm and relaxed and gracious. But it's just not happening for me today.

A lot of my annoyance hinges around my in-laws' seeming reluctance to communicate openly with me. I just want them to tell me what they want to see and do, and I'll fit the rest of the family's plans around that. The way I see it is, if all parties are open about what they need and want to do, then things can easily be worked out. So, for instance, I've shown them all my appointments on the calendar, and told them that, aside from those times, I, and/or the car, am at their disposal. I don't like to shop, so I can either drop them off at whatever mall they want to go to, or they can take the car. Any other outings, I'd love to go with them.

Straight-forward to make plans, then, surely? Not so. Not when your guests are so focused on "not being a nuisance" that they simply don't voice their wishes. Bobby keeps telling me that they're just trying to be considerate, but I'm starting to find it all a little passive-aggressive. I'm sick of hearing things like "Well, yes, we would like to go to xyz, but I think today we'll rather just go for a walk round the lake, so we don't get in Ann's way." Because that's my cue to persuade them that, actually, they're not in my way, and I want to do xyz with them. The irony is, that actually I do want to do xyz with them. Half the time they don't even tell me that they want to do xyz, I have to figure it out from overhearing conversations between the two of them. The fact that my father-in-law is quite deaf helps me with this.

It's just so damn annoying that they can't accept that I'm being honest with them, that I've laid out the times I'm not available, and I really, really, want to help them get to see and do all the things on their list before they leave. I keep asking Bobby - am I coming off as a complete bitch? Are they scared to go places with me? Do they think I don't want to do stuff with them? - and he keeps saying no, you're great, it's not you, it's just the way they are. I hope he's right. I'm feeling quite insecure about it all, though.

I'm also a little tense because Emily sees the endo. again tomorrow. It's going to be one of those nasty appointments where they need to do x-rays and tons of bloodwork, so it'll probably take most of the day. I have an uneasy feeling that her growth has slowed over the past couple of months ... I hope I'm wrong.