I was distraught on Friday, after hearing the news about my mom. But life with kids has to go on, so I couldn't fall apart straight away. The evening was rather surreal - we'd just got this horrible news, but it was also the evening of Emily's first real "date". A group date, but still. It involved hand-holding! Normally I would have been happy for her - after all, it's quite a milestone - but I just felt numb and weepy and detached. It didn't show too badly, though, I hope. We took her to the mall, made sure that she was hooked up with the other kids, gave her my cell phone, and then went out to dinner and then to the bookstore (in the mall). The mall was crazy busy, and all the noise and the lights and the throngs of people pushing in all directions were really getting to me by the time Ems finally emerged from the movie. It didn't help that I was on the verge of tears the whole time, either. I went to bed when we got home, but I couldn't sleep, just lay awake all night, crying and imagining all the worst case scenarios playing out, and feeling incredibly trapped and frustrated about being so far away from my mom. I never knew it was possible to cry so much. It wouldn't have surprised me if I'd been shrivelled like a raisin in the morning.

On Saturday morning, though, I realised that, actually, contrary to what I'd assumed, it's not an impossibility for me to go back to South Africa for a visit. I could probably only go for ten days or so, as I couldn't take the kids with me ... but still. That would be better than nothing! We have enough friends here now that between them and Bobby, we could figure out a way to take care of the children. It won't be ideal for them if I do go back, but ... this isn't an everyday situation. Once I realised that I could visit if I'm needed, I felt immeasurably better. Teary and a bit distracted, but functioning again.

Most of Saturday was taken up with another climbing competition, here at our home gym. Teams come from various places around Florida to take part in the comps - from Miami, Gainesville, Melbourne, Jacksonville ... It was a great day for Emily, and an okay day for Steve. Ems thrives on competitions. She likes it when people watch her climb - she assumes that they like her, and that they think she's amazingly cute, and that they want her to succeed - so she climbs her best during the competitions. Stephen is the opposite : he likes to practice things in private, and only do them with an audience once he's sure he's mastered them. So competitions tend to fluster him. He climbed well, though - albeit not as well as Ems, who placed third in her category. Pretty good, considering the fact that not only is she tiny for her age, but that she's a full two years younger than many of the other climbers in her category! When she went up to get her ribbon, there was a roar from the audience - which of course thrilled her. And she also (to more cheers) got the award for "most routes completed" which pleased her immensely. (How the competitions work, is that you have four hours in which to climb as many routes as you like, and the scores from your top five routes are added together to make up your final score).

On Sunday, we went to church (which helped me deal with my emotions) and then went climbing again. Bobs and I thought it would be fun to see how the two of us would have done in the competition. We were humbled to realise that the kids would have thrashed us. We just have no stamina : two or three challenging climbs and we're completely finished. We left early - not only were we exhausted, but Stephen and Emily were bickering and being mean and obnoxious to each other. I hate it when they do that. I suppose part of it may have been that they were picking up on all the tension and anxiety in the air - I know they are also worried about their grandmother - and part of it may have been because Steve felt a little overshadowed by Ems on the Saturday, and part of it may have been that Ems' head was a little swollen from all the attention she got ... However, even given all that, we still felt that their behaviour was completely unacceptable. So they now know that if they can't be civil to one another in any given situation, they'll be leaving that situation immediately and going home. To do chores.

Today I've been mainly doing homeschool stuff with Sophs. We also drove around and looked for houses for sale. I found a gorgeous one - well, it looked wonderful from the outside, and the description in the info. flyer outside sounded amazing - but when I called the realtor it had just been bought by someone. I think we may struggle to find the kind of house we want : most houses round here are very cookie-cutterish, are on little bits of land, and have no privacy at all. What we want is something older, with more character. And space, trees, and seclusion - but we can't buy a fixer-upper, as neither of us is remotely handy. But, as problems go, finding a nice house is not really too awful a thing to have to deal with.

Oh, and my mom says that her op is actually not till the 10th - I misunderstood when my dad said "Monday" ... The waiting must be so unbelievably stressful for her.